The New Year and a New You...or Me.

Well, here we are in 2011 and what a start it has been so far. There are those of you that know me and some that don't; so I would like to start with a little introduction to bring people up to speed. My name is Melinda, or you can call me Milly, and I am very overweight. Some of you know the feeling of being HUGE. Not having energy to do simple tasks...like climbing the stairs, getting dressed, playing with your kids and things of that sort. I have always struggled with my weight but not to the extent that I do now. I ran track and played soccer in high school. I loved being active. I got married in 2001 to a man who I loved greatly. Soon after we were married I put on a lot of weight; I am talking 60+ lbs in less then a year. I didn't really know how it happened. My husband was a big advocate of eating out and I am sure that had something to do with it. :) But, I think it was the way he was treating me that was the biggest factor. Everyday I gained weight he would tell me how ugly I was, how he didn't love me anymore and how he couldn't see himself having children with me. He would refuse to hold my hand in public because he didn't want anyone to know we were "together". He was embarrassed to be seen with me. You can only imagine how that made me feel. Then he decided that the grass was greener on the other side and planted his seeds in that field. I felt abandoned and rejected. It was a horrible time for me and something I am still not completely over. I gained more weight and this just added insult to injury. I finally went to the doctor for a routine physical and to ask about weight loss surgery. It was then that I was diagnosed with a pituitary tumor and poly cystic ovarian syndrome. Both of these conditions cause dramatic weight gain and make it difficult to lose weight. I was elated and depressed. Now I knew it was not ALL my fault that I had gained weight so quickly and I knew it was going to be harder then normal to get it off. There followed years of yo-yo dieting with minimal success. Friends and family tried to get me to audition for the Biggest Loser and I was offended by the suggestion. Why would I want to go on a show where they exploit fat people for entertainment. (obviously I didn't know anything about the show.) Well, I finally sat down and watched the first episode from season 8; and a fan was born! I was so inspired by those people. It was amazing to watch. I attended an open casting call for the Biggest Loser tv show in Utah. It was a great experience; seeing thousands of people who want to change their lives. It was very inspiring. However, as I began to talk to those in line; cause we were in line FOREVER and there was nothing else to do but talk, I learned some things that bothered me. Many of these people had auditioned 6 or 7 times over 3 to 4 year periods! What a waste of time. I promised myself I would audition for the show and if I didn't make it was not going to wait for another chance to be on the show. That was last year in April. I started this blog to inspire and help those who are in my situation. Unfortunatly, I have not kept up my end of the bargin. My weight bounced up and down through this past year and as of Christmas I was back up to 280 lbs. That is very embarrassing to say, because I know I have let down all the people who have supported me and cheered me on. Don't be sad, the story gets better. On December 27th I decided that I am not going to waste anymore time being FAT. I have had it. I don't want to be one of those people who think that the only way to escape the shackles of weight is to be on some reality show. I was going to take what I have learned from the Biggest Loser and apply it to my life. My mom was all for it, so we started that day. By the 7th of January I had lost 14 lbs!! My first week back at school was hard and I bounced a little back and forth. My body was undergoing some physiological difficulties; but I am still at 266 lbs. I have had great success since the first of the year so, I wanted to start this blog..... again. It will be my own personal Biggest Loser journey. I have decided to have a little competition with the current season 11 biggest loser contestants. I will weigh in the same day that they do and see how my percentage measures up to theirs. I welcome your comments and suggestions; but what I am really hoping is that you all will cheer me on and that maybe my story will inspire someone else to start their own journey.